Tuesday, 27 December 2011
Sunday, 25 December 2011
Make Up with Your Partner After a Fight
How to Make Up with Your Partner After a Fight
from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can EditEvery relationship is different, but every relationship has fights. Couples that stay together for the long haul usually figure out a way to make up and move on. If you don't want to just pretend the fight never happened, and just wait for the tension to blow over, read on for some advice on making up in an open and healthy way.
Steps
- Look underneath the argument. There's a saying, "You're never fighting for the reason you think". It may look like you're fighting about money, sex, or something specific, but there's usually some vague feeling underneath that hasn't been expressed fully. It might stem from being hurt in previous relationships, or even childhood experiences. Identifying the root feeling can help with calming down. Some common feelings that many fights can be traced to are:
- Inadequacy. You feel like you're just not good enough - you can't quite believe that someone like that would want someone like you - at least not for long.
- Abandonment. You're worried that the person will leave you, if not literally, then perhaps by cheating on you, or becoming emotionally distant (this goes with inadequacy). A little bit of time after a fight is good though. It lets each partner "cool down" so tempered and hot things aren't said.
- Being taken for granted. You feel unappreciated, perhaps used.
- Inadequacy. You feel like you're just not good enough - you can't quite believe that someone like that would want someone like you - at least not for long.
- Communicate what's most true for you in one sentence. Learn How to Practice Nonviolent Communication. Letting your partner know "I feel scared when I see you talking to other girls" or "I feel angry I don't have the money to pay for this right now" allows you to get to the core issue and often helps him to understand where you're at without arguing about it.
- Take responsibility. Did you snap at your mate? Are you trying to control the outcome? Is it easier to get what you want by manipulating the situation rather than simply asking directly? We all do these things to one degree or another. If you can find a way to own up to your part in the argument, without trying to blame or wrong yourself or your partner for it, it may just open up a whole new dialog. Be Humble. Sometimes if you can Apologize for something you did (even if you didn't "start" it) it can disarm your partner, and result in their apologizing as well. Something like, "Wait a minute. This is not where I wanted this to go, and I'm so sorry it has. I don't want us both to be so upset we can't even talk. Can we take a breather from the disagreement, collect ourselves and try again, only this time less angry?" And always remember, don't just apologize for stuff you didn't do just so it will be over. Talk about what needs to be talked about so you can move into a clearer stream.
- Let go of being "right". Wanting to be right in an argument is the surest way to keep it going. People will argue about who's right and who's wrong for years if they don't decide to do something else with their energy. It's a no-win situation and keeps you from truly connecting with your partner. There's an old saying: "Would you rather be right, or be happy?"
- Let your partner learn in their own way, at their own pace. You can only control yourself, and your own pace of learning. If your partner isn't getting it, you can't force them to see what this issue might be about for them. You can only see what it's about for you. There's information in any argument for both of you, but it's impossible to make someone see things from your point of view. Either they do, or do not. And if they don't, you can either accept that, and learn to deal with it, or don't. But if you don't, the argument(s) will continue.
- If you're holding out for an apology, and your partner isn't giving it, consider openly forgiving them anyway. This kind of acceptance, if you don't do it in a condescending way, might show your partner that you accept their imperfections, which can help them stop trying so hard to defend their flaws. Example: After succinctly expressing how you feel (as described earlier) say "I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings by forgetting about our anniversary. I do still feel hurt, though, but I'm willing to trust that you didn't do it on purpose, and you'll try to remember next time. Ok?"
- If you're holding out for an apology, and your partner isn't giving it, consider openly forgiving them anyway. This kind of acceptance, if you don't do it in a condescending way, might show your partner that you accept their imperfections, which can help them stop trying so hard to defend their flaws. Example: After succinctly expressing how you feel (as described earlier) say "I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings by forgetting about our anniversary. I do still feel hurt, though, but I'm willing to trust that you didn't do it on purpose, and you'll try to remember next time. Ok?"
- Appreciate your partner. The sooner you two can experience some form of joy and lightheartedness, the better. Successful relationships have a five to one ratio of appreciations to criticisms.[1] Actions that create a genuine positive feeling will help to replenish the "emotional bank account" of your relationship. After an argument is a great time to re-balance your relationship by noticing and expressing lots of things that you really like about your partner and yourself, and the way you are together. If you're still feeling down about the whole thing, though, start with yourself: Cheer Up.
- Make new agreements. If your argument has been a nasty one, you may want to make an agreement with your partner about the boundaries and terms of your relationship. For example "I agree not to call you nasty names." Or "I'd like for us to agree that we talk about what's going on without yelling at each other."
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Tips
- If you feel like you are always "losing", or if an argument often ends with you begging for forgiveness even though when it started you believed you were in the right, it may be worth reading How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship.
- Learn from the argument. Is this argument much like others that you've had with others in the past? If you keep repeating the same arguments, it's because there's some learning that hasn't taken place yet, or some way in which you keep these issues going without realizing it. What might this issue that you've been arguing about have to teach you? If you face what you've been fighting about, you can often uncover the golden nugget of learning for yourself. If you aren't able to unearth a deeper meaning after reflection on both of your parts, you may have hit on a dealbreaker. If you're arguing about one issue over and over, and you cannot resolve it; and if one or both of you are unwilling to find a compromise (such as: one of you wants children, the other does not), then your relationship may not be a match made in heaven.
- Make sure to talk calmly and listen to each other so you can try not to let it happen again.
Warnings
- No one wins if, at the end of the day, you feel disconnected from each other.
Related wikiHows
- How to Create a Blog Following
- How to Forgive
- How to Apologize
- How to Have a Healthy Relationship
- How to Be Patient
- How to Make a Genuine Apology
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Saturday, 24 December 2011
FEATURES OF APPLE 5
iPhone 5 Features
Although Apple does not reveal the exact specifications and features until the device is officially unveiled, we could dictate some of the main features that are expected. However, rumor of the new iPhone 5 features, in terms of both hardware and software upgrades, will definitely entice any smartphone buyer.
The upcoming phone is expected to sport the Apple’s latest and greatest A5 processor chip, iCloud service, higher-resolution camera, and a 4-inch screen size. Here are some of the most anticipated iPhone 5 features:
iOS 5
Apple announced iOS 5.0 and its features during the WWDC 2011 keynote address on June 6, 2011. The user interface is based on the concept of direct manipulation, using multi-touch gestures. It is expected to come with more than 200 new features that will include improved Notification System, News Stand and iMessage.
iMessage is an application that is developed to compete with Blackberry Messenger. The app will allow iPod Touch, iPhone, and iPad users to communicate (much like a chat service) with each other. The iMessage feature has been integrated into the SMS/MMS application used originally on the iPhone models.
iCloud
The iPhone5 is expected to have the iCloud service.
Apple’s iPhone 5 is expected to feature the new iCloud service for wireless remote access of music from all computers and mobile devices.
The iPhone5 will automatically sync with the iCloud which will allow users to store photos, apps, calendars and documents without having them to store in the phone’s memory. Apple is also looking to tie up with top music label companies to license songs for the iCloud service.
However, rumours state that Apple might release a low-cost “iCloud iPhone” alongside the iPhone 5. It could be named the “iPhone Mini”
“The iPhone Mini (or iPhone Nano, or whatever) could have significantly less storage than a typical iPhone. Most likely 8 gigabytes of storage – the same as the lowest end iPhones right now. Apple won’t prevent users from storing their own content, because that would be crazy. But since it has a small amount of memory, Apple will likely push the ability to stream media via MobileMe as well.”
A5 Processor to power the iPhone5
iPhone 5 will house the A5 as the main processor, which technically is the same chip that currently powers the iPad 2. The A5 contains a dual-core ARM Cortex-A9 CPU with NEON SIMD accelerator and a dual core PowerVR SGX543MP2 GPU, which means that the iPhone5 can do twice the work at once. The processor speed will be somewhere between 1.2 to 1.5 GHz, with probably a 1GB RAM.
The processor upgrade is done not just to increase the processing speed of the phone, but also to compete with the newly launched Samsung Galaxy S II.
The A5 chip might effectively increase the power use, however, it is said that the chip has “got a dynamic power management”, which can lower the [speed] depending on the workload, and thus efficiently make use of the power.
iPhone 5 to Sport a Better Camera
The iPhone 4 sports a 5 megapixel camera, so I’m expecting that the iPhone 5 will have a rear-facing 8MP dual-LED flash camera. However, this isn’t really “awesome”, since most of the high-end Android smartphones come with an 8MP camera. Along with that, the iPhone 5 is expected to have a front-facing camera for video chatting.
According to sources, Apple has filed several patent applications relating to 3D picture capturing to the US Patent and Trademark Office later in March. This indicates that the iPhone 5 might feature a 3D camera. The filing indicates that the device will be capable of capturing, processing and rendering 3D images with dual-camera hardware.
Another interesting feature is that the iPhone 5 will be capable of taking pictures in Panorama. It will work similarly to the ’360 Panorama’ application in the App Store. It will let you take pictures in a sequence as you move the camera from one side to another, which in the end will effortlessly stitch the images together to create a panorama.
Additionally, if Apple really wants to keep up with the competition to Android, then it might consider improving upon the video resolution to a full 1080p HD recording. Currently iPhone 4 has a 720p video capture at 30 frames per second.
Display and Resolution
There hasn’t been a better screen resolution since the release of the iPhone 4. Currently the iPhone 4 has a 3.5 inches screen size, and sources indicate that Apple might stay locked with the current size. But a few other sources say that Apple is planning to increase the screen size to 4-inch with higher screen resolution. I feel that Apple could compromise at 3.7-inch or 3.75-inch.
Image credits: PhoneArena.com
However, the iPhone 5 could be slightly wider and thinner. The dimensions are calculated to be: 4.33″ x 2.36″ and .27″ thickness at the top and .21″ at the bottom, whereas the dimensions of iPhone 4 are: 4.5″ x 2.31″ x .37″
Other iPhone5 Features
Here are some of the other features that we can expect from the iPhone 5:
(*) According the AT&T documents leaked by LulzSec, the Apple iPhone 5 will offer 4G and will be LTE (Long Term Evolution) network compatible. LTE is a project of the 3rd Generation Partnership Project (3GPP), and is the latest standard in the mobile network technology.
(**) According to International Business Times, it is rumoured that the iPhone 5 will feature a new SIM-less design with 2 to 3 internal antennas for CDMA and GSM compatibility, which will make it a “worldphone”.
The above mentioned features are some of the improvements that we can expect from Apple. However, we cannot assure you that they can be true, but most of the upgrades are more likely to be utilized.
Apple definitely wants to fight back against Android smartphone makers like HTC and Samsung, and perhaps it is why the new iPhone 5 will host some of the outstanding features.
Friday, 23 December 2011
7 Energizing Ways to Stay Awake at Work
Being sleepy at the workplace is a common problem for many people, and trying to stay awake when the eyes are feeling a bit heavy can be really challenging. To overcome daytime sleepiness at work, it's important that you find out why you're tired.
There are many things in a day that can make you feel extremely tired and sleepy at work. For example, staring at your computer screen over long periods of time, or sitting at your desk all day. Sometimes, fatigue can be caused by a medical problem such as depression, iron deficiencies (anemia), thyroid disease, heart valve problems, and lupus. A poor diet, weight problems, stress, boredom, low oxygen levels in the workplace as well as environmental toxins may also cause daytime fatigue and sleepiness.
All of the following natural pick-me-ups listed in this article will help awake your mind and re-energize your body naturally without caffeine. You can try any one of them but I strongly suggest you use a combination of methods below to see which one works best for you.
Best Ways to Keep Yourself Awake Naturally Without Caffeine
1. Drink Cold Water
Feeling tired and sluggish can often mean you're dehydrated so drink up to stay awake. However, avoid coffee, green tea and other caffeinated beverages such as sodas and energy drinks. Such drinks not only make you jittery, they're also highly addictive and can lead to a vicious cycle of tiredness.
I highly suggest you take wheatgrass juice as recent research has shown that the juice form wheat grass helps increase mental alertness and stamina, and promotes a feeling of general well being.
Alternatively, drink ice cold water. Cold water forces your body to regulate your internal body temperature and a little shiver will freshen and wake you up immediately. Another benefit of drinking cold water is your body will burn extra calories warming up the cold water to body temperature. Also, the frequent trips to the bathroom will help you to stay awake for the rest of the work day.
2. Wash Your Face
Similarly, if you wash/splash your face with cold water, the cold water helps drive away the feelings of sleepiness and drowsiness, and keep you alert during the day.
3. Chew Gum
It will also help immensely if you chew gum when you're hit by an unexpected wave of sleepiness at work. The action of chewing keeps your jaw moving and your brain awake, thereby increasing mental alertness and you concentrate better on what you're doing.
Chew a piece of strong-mint flavored sugarless gum, or suck on sugar-free hard candies to keep yourself awake naturally without caffeine.
4. Eat a Light Snack
Did you know that your blood sugar level can greatly affect your energy levels? If your blood sugar level is low, or drops just slightly below your target range, you may feel tired and sleepy, and have a hard time concentrating at work.
For this reason, you want to eat a light snack to get your blood sugar up. Fruits such as apples, berries and grapes are healthy foods that give you quick energy without causing you to have a sugar crash, which is often associated with foods high in refined sugar (junk foods) such as cookies, pastries, and jelly beans.
To avoid feeling sleepy after lunch (also known as afternoon slump), try to eat a smaller lunch that includes a healthy salad. Cut back on heavy lunches and unprocessed foods like hot dogs, and lunch meats.
5. Get Up
If you spend long hours looking at your computer or sitting down at your desk, then it's a good idea to get up and take 5 minutes to stretch your body whenever you feel sleepy. A lack of physical movement often makes us sluggish and fall asleep.
Twist your body, stretch your neck, jiggle your hands, arms, legs, and feet. Doing 10 to 15 consecutive squats, or other moderate physical activity will get your blood moving and work wonders to keep you awake naturally.
I personally like the idea of running up the stairs to stay alert whenever I feel my eyes getting heavy and shutting at work. It gets my heart pumping real good and this wakes me up significantly.
6. Breathe Deeply
Another tip to bring your mind back to alertness and keep awake at the office is to do this simple breathing exercise at your desk. Its calming effects will also help you better focus on your job and stay productive at work.
Inhale through your nose for 5 seconds, hold for about 3 seconds, and slowly exhale through your mouth for 15 seconds. This way, you get fresh supply of oxygen into your overworked mind.
7. Sunlight
When you're in darkness, your body produces sleep hormone, melatonin which makes you feel sleepy. Exposing yourself to natural sunlight would stop the production of melatonin so that your drowsiness goes away naturally and you feel alive again.
Get outdoors into the light and breathe in some fresh air. If you can't leave your desk, then open the windows and let as much natural light into your office as possible. Too much fluorescent lighting (in most offices) can tire your eyes and interfere with brain activity, leading to fatigue.
There are many things in a day that can make you feel extremely tired and sleepy at work. For example, staring at your computer screen over long periods of time, or sitting at your desk all day. Sometimes, fatigue can be caused by a medical problem such as depression, iron deficiencies (anemia), thyroid disease, heart valve problems, and lupus. A poor diet, weight problems, stress, boredom, low oxygen levels in the workplace as well as environmental toxins may also cause daytime fatigue and sleepiness.
All of the following natural pick-me-ups listed in this article will help awake your mind and re-energize your body naturally without caffeine. You can try any one of them but I strongly suggest you use a combination of methods below to see which one works best for you.
Best Ways to Keep Yourself Awake Naturally Without Caffeine
1. Drink Cold Water
Feeling tired and sluggish can often mean you're dehydrated so drink up to stay awake. However, avoid coffee, green tea and other caffeinated beverages such as sodas and energy drinks. Such drinks not only make you jittery, they're also highly addictive and can lead to a vicious cycle of tiredness.
I highly suggest you take wheatgrass juice as recent research has shown that the juice form wheat grass helps increase mental alertness and stamina, and promotes a feeling of general well being.
Alternatively, drink ice cold water. Cold water forces your body to regulate your internal body temperature and a little shiver will freshen and wake you up immediately. Another benefit of drinking cold water is your body will burn extra calories warming up the cold water to body temperature. Also, the frequent trips to the bathroom will help you to stay awake for the rest of the work day.
2. Wash Your Face
Similarly, if you wash/splash your face with cold water, the cold water helps drive away the feelings of sleepiness and drowsiness, and keep you alert during the day.
3. Chew Gum
It will also help immensely if you chew gum when you're hit by an unexpected wave of sleepiness at work. The action of chewing keeps your jaw moving and your brain awake, thereby increasing mental alertness and you concentrate better on what you're doing.
Chew a piece of strong-mint flavored sugarless gum, or suck on sugar-free hard candies to keep yourself awake naturally without caffeine.
4. Eat a Light Snack
Did you know that your blood sugar level can greatly affect your energy levels? If your blood sugar level is low, or drops just slightly below your target range, you may feel tired and sleepy, and have a hard time concentrating at work.
For this reason, you want to eat a light snack to get your blood sugar up. Fruits such as apples, berries and grapes are healthy foods that give you quick energy without causing you to have a sugar crash, which is often associated with foods high in refined sugar (junk foods) such as cookies, pastries, and jelly beans.
To avoid feeling sleepy after lunch (also known as afternoon slump), try to eat a smaller lunch that includes a healthy salad. Cut back on heavy lunches and unprocessed foods like hot dogs, and lunch meats.
5. Get Up
If you spend long hours looking at your computer or sitting down at your desk, then it's a good idea to get up and take 5 minutes to stretch your body whenever you feel sleepy. A lack of physical movement often makes us sluggish and fall asleep.
Twist your body, stretch your neck, jiggle your hands, arms, legs, and feet. Doing 10 to 15 consecutive squats, or other moderate physical activity will get your blood moving and work wonders to keep you awake naturally.
I personally like the idea of running up the stairs to stay alert whenever I feel my eyes getting heavy and shutting at work. It gets my heart pumping real good and this wakes me up significantly.
6. Breathe Deeply
Another tip to bring your mind back to alertness and keep awake at the office is to do this simple breathing exercise at your desk. Its calming effects will also help you better focus on your job and stay productive at work.
Inhale through your nose for 5 seconds, hold for about 3 seconds, and slowly exhale through your mouth for 15 seconds. This way, you get fresh supply of oxygen into your overworked mind.
7. Sunlight
When you're in darkness, your body produces sleep hormone, melatonin which makes you feel sleepy. Exposing yourself to natural sunlight would stop the production of melatonin so that your drowsiness goes away naturally and you feel alive again.
Get outdoors into the light and breathe in some fresh air. If you can't leave your desk, then open the windows and let as much natural light into your office as possible. Too much fluorescent lighting (in most offices) can tire your eyes and interfere with brain activity, leading to fatigue.
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